I remember the conversation vividly. As if God was sitting across the living room from me.
I might as well have offered Him a cup of coffee........
It still amazes me that God HIMSELF....creator of the UNIVERSE....the One who set the stars in place....the One who gathered the oceans and controls the waves.....the One who makes demons tremble...and the God who will One day set ALL THINGS right......
that THIS GOD-----can be so present. So intimate. So.........HERE.
It was early. The children were still asleep.
(and by all means.......if at all possible......LET. THE. CHILDREN. SLEEP.......as long as they should see fit to need the sleep.)
I had stepped away from social media....NEEDING to hear from God. NEEDING some breakthrough. NEEDING some answers. I was desperate and I knew that I needed to pull the plug-so to speak-on every other voice, every other influence.....and hear from HIM.
He was the only One who could give me direction. Give me the answers I needed.
If ANY man lacks wisdom, lacks answers, lacks direction. Just ASK our GENEROUS LOVING Heavenly Father who GIVES wisdom, insight and discernment LIBERALLY. without HESITATION. James 1:5 (my paraphrase)
Why wouldn't He?
He has such a HOPE and FUTURE laid up for us. He's got plans. He had ideas for US before our mother laid eyes on our newborn faces. He will grant us whatever *TRUTH* we need to step into those things with FREEDOM. Without anything holding us back.
This was my moment.
This was my breakthrough.
I expected some profound Truth.
I sat there in silence drinking my coffee. Praying. Reading the Word of God.
Most of the time He speaks to me through His Word alone. It's rarely a BOOMING voice. Or thunder from the clouds. He's already said everything He's going to say....I only need to open His word and read it.
But this morning I needed something more.
Then I heard Him.
Because He is so FAITHFUL.....faithful to speak....faithful to give us what we need the MOMENT we need it......
"ARE YOU READY TO TRUST ME WITH THIS NOW?"
Those words took my breath away.
.................of course I trusted Him.
I've always trusted Him.
Then *SUDDENLY*.....(you know those suddenly moments, when the veil is lifted you see see things in a new light. SUDDENLY the clouds break open and you see GOD as if for the first time. HEAR His voice so clearly.)
Suddenly I could see all of the things I'd held in my tightly clenched fists.
The list was longer than I'd realized.
ALL THIS TIME......I was waiting on deliverance.
I was waiting for answers.
I was waiting for GOD to move.
............................and he was waiting on ME.
Was I ready to trust Him with my future?
The decisions of those around me?
Could HE protect me, sustain me and BRING me into this future that I KNEW He had for me IN SPITE OF me.......in spite of the choices I've made. The mistakes I've made.
In spite of the battles.
In spite of the heartache and ashes I see laying around me.
In spite of what I'm feeling in this moment here......
Can I trust a GOD who isn't obligated to explain Himself to me?
A God who isn't obligated to lay out His plan in a power point presentation for me to see what's up ahead. To guard me against tomorrow's heartaches. To protect me from tomorrow's mistakes. Can I trust a God to do what HE SEES FIT.
And to do it in a way that HE chooses, in the TIMING He KNOWS is best.
Do I trust that He has my best interests at heart and has not brought me to this moment in time to BRING ME TO RUIN but to bring REDEMPTION, HEALING, RESTORATION.
I didn't realize how little I entrusted HIM with.
Keeping it all safely hidden in the palms of my own hands.
Trying to figure it all out on my own.
Fix things on my own.
Afraid of revealing too much of me. Afraid of letting go of too much.
Afraid of what that would mean.
I didn't realize how much FREEDOM there was in transparency. In SURRENDER. I knew what I had to do.
All this time......
He was waiting on ME.
Waiting on me to stop striving.
To stop looking beyond HIM for all the things I needed.
To stop trying to fix things on my own.
But to just recognize He was there......this WHOLE TIME.
......waiting on me to figure it out.
Those were the only words He spoke to me.
Just those few words.
But those words were enough.
ARE YOU READY..................
So often we're waiting on God to do something miraculous when the whole time He's waiting on us. Waiting on us to figure it out.
Waiting on us to let something go.
Waiting on us to LET HIM WORK.
We want Him to work but there are things we JUST AREN'T WILLING TO RELINQUISH TO HIS CONTROL.
Only you know what they are.
But if you really want to be FREE.
Free from regret. Free from the past. Free from heartache. Free from the ashes. He's a GOOD God, friends.
HE. IS. A. GOOD. GOD.
And everything He has for you is GOOD.
There is only ONE who's intention is to steal kill and destroy.
Only ONE who's desperate to give you abundant life, promise, a hope and a future full of EVERY GOOD AND PERFECT GIFT.
Are you ready to TRUST HIM?
One. STEP. at a TIME.
INTO freedom. INTO promise. INTO every GOOD thing He planned for you long ago.