March 23, 2014

He Gave Me a New Song

I've always been one to find joy in EVERY thing.
I've always had a SONG to sing and a REASON to sing it.
And very few things could keep this chick down.....and if I WAS down it wasn't for long.
I've been saved all my life and the word is IN me. Buried deep.


A few years ago I heard a song by kutless.
"I'm Still Yours"

"If I lost it all....would my broken heart still sing? Would my hands stay lifted?
If you washed away my vanity....if all my world was swept away would YOU be enough for me?"

It's easy to sing those words when you haven't known REAL grief. It's easy to say that you would lift your hands even in brokenness when you've never truly been broken. At the time I was sure I would.
Of course I would sing. When have I ever had a reason NOT to sing?
...."Bring it ON!!!!
This girl can handle it.".....
In the last 15 years my faith has been put to the test and tried over and over again. It was easy for me. It was never hard for me to find courage to believe in every season of doubt and uncertainty as my husband and I found ourselves wondering HOW God was going to provide. When I personally struggled with God through my own personal seasons. My faith increased during those seasons.....
And so did the word in my life.
Line upon line. Precept upon precept.
He was building in me - through His word - and through every day life an unshakable faith. We had our share of grief. I thought I knew grief.
Until now....
I've been in the darkest of places. I've known what it is to be broken. Stripped of everything I thought I knew. I've come face to face with grief. I thought I was strong. But there are some things that are stronger. I've made costly mistakes and found myself in my own humanity question my abilities and worthiness.
There are some sorrows that you just cannot bare. And I've met my match.
Until.......
That WORD (which is ALIVE in me) speaks LOUDER than the grief. I begin to rehearse what I DO know surrounded by so much grief and uncertainty. The TRUTH trumps every experience. Every circumstance. When I have NO EARTHLY REASON to sing............HIS WORD rises up on the inside of me and I STAND TO MY FEET KNOWING......the TRUTH is my anchor. I will NOT be shaken. I refuse to allow the enemy to rob me of my testimony. (My song.)
GOD DOES.....make all things new.
And He gave me a NEW song to sing.
He exchanged my despairing heart for one of praise. He restored my soul. He traded my mourning for dancing. And my weeping for laughter. HE took those burdens so I wouldn't have to bare them. He carries them for me. And in these things too...my faith and the word has INCREASED.
I refuse to sit down.
I refuse to quit.
And yes......my HANDS ARE STILL LIFTED. and my heart is still singing.

A year ago.....I posted here on FB the lyrics to 10,000 reasons. 2 DAYS before my husband died....
I had no idea what my faith would have to survive.
And today......I sing the song still.... with greater conviction. More determined. Stronger.

"The sun comes up. It's a new day dawning. Its time to sing your songs again.
Whatever may pass.....and whatever lies before me.

Let me be singing when the evening comes.
Bless the LORD oh my soul. Sing like never before oh my soul. Worship His Holy Name."

May my life's song sing to the FAITHFULNESS of my GOD!!!!!!!!!!
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