Walking With God

It's been 6 years since my husband's death.
I find myself immersed in the Goodness of God.
I've had so many people ask me through the years....."how did you do it?"
My answer is simple.
I walked with God.
I clung to God.
I wept with God.
I grieved with God.
I poured out my heart to God ... with all of its fears and doubts and gratitude.
I have lived life open handed.
I think one of my biggest fears has been abandonment, more loss, more change.
I know the hole it can leave.
I remember the days of no appetite and no tears left to cry.
I know the questions that surface.
The loneliness of a season of loss.
But I've done it beside the One who knows my heart better than anyone else.
Beside the One who grieved with me.
Beside the One who knows best how to bless me.
Beside Jehovah Jireh...the One who provides.
And Jehovah Rohi....my gentle shepherd
Jehovah Elohim....my powerful God
Abba....my Father
El Roi....my God who sees
El Shaddai....my safe refuge
Jehovah Nissi ...my banner
Jehovah Rapha....my healer
Jehovah Shalom....my peace
HE was the One who was with me at midnight when I was all alone.
You see friends......there is nothing I've needed that I haven't found in Him.
He is I AM.
I wasn't promised a life without heartache but I was promised who He would be for me in the midst of it.
I've simply walked with God and one step at a time He's led me to open spaces, given me beauty where I've only known devastation, joy in my places of deep deep sorrow, and has given me a heart of thankful praise in place of resignation and despair.
My secret?
Walking with God.....
It changed EVERYthing.