March 16, 2014

A Cracked and Fragile Vessel

It's hard to grow when everyone is watching.

....and *everyone* includes 4 littles who are watching from sun up to sun down. 

When most people are so inclined to put their BEST face's not always easy to take that mask off. You know the one. The mask of perfection. The one that shows no flaws. No weaknesses.
But then does anyone ever get to know the REAL me?
The broken, insecure, fragile girl who often makes mistakes and finds herself at the feet of Jesus FREQUENTLY asking for HELP.
I was reading Timothy this morning and HUMBLY reminded of something....GROWING is a process. Growing in GRACE. In wisdom.
I know that until I come face to face with Jesus I will never have FULLY arrived. But for someone who struggles with wanting to be perfect it's hard to grow and be transparent. Vulnerable.
I've learned that the REAL Jesus can only help the REAL me.
That's hard for someone who would prefer to appear perfect and have it all together. The reality of it is though? I never did. If I did. I wouldn't need a savior. But I come to Timothy this morning and after being exhorted to live life by EXAMPLE.....Paul throws THIS in his letter....."So that everyone sees your progress." I suppose that means they've been watching from the beginning.
To go from ‪#‎aworkinprogress‬ to ‪#‎finallyfigureditout‬
The brutal reality is.....I don't get to the latter until I'm face to face with Jesus.
Somewhere we've come to believe the lie that the smallest mistake or flaw RENDERS US USELESS to the kingdom of God and those around us.
The BIBLE is FULL of stories of men and women who were just that.....IMPERFECT. Those were the people Jesus reached out to. Those were the people He singled out. Where KINDNESS met imperfection. Where GRACE collides with HUMANITY. And in that same story we see MIRACLES, REDEMPTION and RESTORATION take place that otherwise couldn't happen unless they first were honest with GOD and with each other.
When we are transparent before God and allow Him to see us in all of our vulnerability it is only THEN He has something to work with.
Yes. People are watching. Especially my 4 little proteges. I pray that they see the REAL me. EVERY step of the way. That way they can see Jesus is the ONLY one who can use someone like me for His KINGDOM PURPOSES. Then they will know it is HIM working through me.

I have this treasure in a cracked and fragile vessel so that the world will know it is the GREATNESS of His power working through me and not coming from ME.

So I too encourage you with these words.
..... Get the word out. Teach all these things. And don’t let anyone put you down because you’re young. Teach believers with your life: by word, by demeanor, by love, by faith, by integrity. Stay at your post reading Scripture, giving counsel, teaching. And that special gift of ministry you were given when the leaders of the church laid hands on you and prayed—keep that dusted off and in use. Cultivate these things. Immerse yourself in them. ****The people will all see you mature right before their eyes!**** Keep a firm grasp on both your character and your teaching. Don’t be diverted. Just keep at it. Both you and those who hear you will experience salvation. (another translation reads: Give your complete attention to these matters. Throw yourself into your tasks ***so that everyone will see your progress.*** Keep a close watch on how you live and on your teaching. Stay true to what is right for the sake of your own salvation and the salvation of those who hear you.) Timothy 4:15-16

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