March 10, 2014

"The New Normal" looks like GRACE

Of all the things said to me after my husband passed away one of the things repeated more than once was:
"Now you need to find a new normal."

What does NORMAL look like? How do you function as a family of 5 with only a mommy?  How will we manage all the things with such a significant part of our lives severed from the equation?
Next month it will be a year.
I don't know that I've been able to answer that question.  I'm still catching my breath and finding new ways to adapt.  Every new day brings with it a new challenge I didn't have before. But in it all----there is one constant.
I felt it the day after he died. 
By the GRACE of God I stand because the LORD stood with me and gave me STRENGTH.
Every moment was FILLED with grace.  I was FLOODED with GRACE.
Grace came with PEACE and HOPE and it settled ---HERE.
I saw grace behind me.  In front of me.  WITH me.  and it was IN me.  
Grace to keep moving.  Grace to find JOY in the grief.  Grace to be a mom.  Grace to see to all the things that needed to be seen to with the WISDOM to back it up.  Grace for my mistakes. Grace to live each day with HOPE and anticipation. Grace to appreciate the time we had with him and Grace to appreciate tomorrow withOUT him.  Grace to leave the past behind so we can look forward.
Grace to understand and grace to accept what I could not understand.  
When Justin went home and stepped out of this world---GRACE stepped in.  GOD became everything to us that He promised He would be. 
If that sounds unfeeling and insincere then you've never experienced this kind of grace.  
that's a supernatural grace.....and grace is HERE.  In our home...operating in our lives every moment of every day.  
So what does NORMAL look like in MY home?

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