May 12, 2014

a-not-so-HAPPY Mother's Day

Mother's day was NOT so happy for this mama.
Maybe it was because it started with certain expectations.  Expecting my children would jump from their beds, run to me with EAGER hearts to express their eternal gratitude and undying devotion to me-their MOM.  

Okay---so maybe that's an exaggeration.  
I made a fruit plate and wanted a nice breakfast with my kids.  I even laid out their clothes the night before.  That counts for something right?
It was going to be a GOOD day.  I didn't expect ALOT.  But I certainly didn't anticipate all the things that would go WRONG yesterday.  The frustrations throughout the day.  

....As if Mother's Day was a day that was EXEMPT from life's frustrations, arguing children, bloody noses, spills on the carpet, running late for church hair that would not cooperate.....the list was endless. 
I suppose that WAS my expectation. 
YES! Mother's Day was going to be chaotic free, and blissful.  A day of gratitude, full of laughter and love.  Effortless and enjoyable.
But it was far from THAT.  From the moment we woke.  
Each frustration brought another till sundown.  
To make matters worse.
I threw an honest to goodness temper tantrum. 
Tears and all.  
and if that wasn't bad enough?  I labeled it the, "Worst Mother's Day EVER."
I could see the blank stares on their faces.  
I ASSUMED the tears would evoke some sort of repentant response from them.....but instead they now felt sorry ---sorry for themselves AND their MOM.  haha :)  and felt GUILTY. 
not so much.
My mother's day? --- ended with GREAT humility. 
.....with me on my knees before my Father, a repentant heart, and an apology to my children.
  I listed for them every reason I could think of in the moment that makes ME a HAPPY MAMA.  Why I am so GRATEFUL. 
Oh if I could only keep perspective.  
Live my life so FULL of the spirit that my every response is a response from the Heart of the Father and not from EMOTION and self-gratification.  Life my life not out of expectation but out of GRATITUDE.  See each moment from eyes of GRACE and not criticism.  To keep a positive outlook instead of a negative one.  Patience.  Peace.  Love.  Gentleness.  Self-CONTROL  (ouch), JOY, GOODNESS, and faithfulness.  
Any other fruit other than these doesn't belong.  

They may have not seen these things on display in those moments....but at the end of the day???? ---- they did see a mama on her knees.  They saw a mom who makes mistakes but then instead of excusing them or placing blame she takes them to her Father so that He can redeem not only her mistakes but the ENTIRE day.
And He did just that.  
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