May 31, 2014

Steering our Children Towards their Strengths

Each of my children has a strength that without careful guidance can easily become their one weakness.  
God created them with specific personality traits, thought patterns and a way of seeing things that suits them just right.  For a PURPOSE.  
One of mine was having a moment.
Nothing was being filtered and his temper ran away with his reason.
It wasn't until sundown that I was ready to address all that transpired that morning because I knew I would be speaking out of anger and have nothing productive to say.

As we began talking his arms were folded and I could see the resolve on his face.  He refused to budge.  He was angry and he was not going to be broken.  
I began to present a case against him and all of the reasons why he was in the wrong and I pulled no punches.  He withdrew more and more made no eye contact and any eye contact he did make could have pierced through me.
I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to me....."Say something redemptive"
As I began to call out those things in him that I saw as STRENGTHS (not weaknesses) he began to cry and our conversation turned from one of "blame and harsh criticism towards one of redemption and forgiveness.  It was one of the most productive conversations we've had in this journey into his teenage years.  

It was that day that I realized my child has so many GIFTS and such a beautiful way of seeing things that if not carefully nurtured and filtered through the Word and Spirit-filled living can easily become his weakness.
He's bent towards aggression.  God gave him that.
Boys are MEANT to be WARRIORS, protectors, defenders.
I appreciate his strong personality and big emotions.
I so appreciate the individual ways my children have of seeing the world and responding to it.  

I prayed God would give me insight into their souls and learn who they were and how God designed them to operate so that I could be more effective in steering them in the right direction without breaking them.  That I would recognize those things in them that would be world changing if nurtured and cultivated.  
Solomon asked for a discerning heart and how I NEED it as a mother.  
It would be so easy to crush them and their fragile spirits as their still learning who THEY are and what to do with this information moment by moment.  
How IMPORTANT it is as a mother to PRAISE those things in them that make them so UNIQUE and recognize they are bent that way with PURPOSE.  For KINGDOM purpose.  It is MY job as a mother to teach them how to FILTER those emotions and thoughts through the WORD of God and teach them how to be spirit led so that their strengths don't run away with their REASON to make intelligent decisions in a moment of recklessness.

I have to be so careful not to act out of recklessness myself or to be hasty in judgment and quick to lay down the gavel but to take every opportunity to gently steer my children towards their strengths.  I pray I would have presence and peace of mind to not fly off the handle but to make the most of every opportunity to teach my children to appreciate what makes them so unique.  
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