June 7, 2014

God's presence in the Darkness

I have never been more SURE of the presence and SOVEREIGNTY of God in my life than I have been in this last year. 
So present in EVERY detail. 
Even in my husband's passing. 
He was hedging me in with his hands. Directing me not just in the moment but taking into account what was up ahead. 
The day he died I was driving home from work-alone.

I was GOING to go straight home.
But I didn't.
The police were at my house and my neighbor couldn't get in touch with me so she found a way to contact my in laws. If she had---I'd have arrived at my home to face the police----ALONE. Something no widow should ever have to experience alone; hearing the news that your husband wasn't coming home.
Hedging me in.
That was just the beginning of the evidence.
That even in THIS....such GRIEF and unexpected tragedy....I would see the EVIDENCE of God. GIFTS of His presence in my life in the midst of such darkness.
One more step.
He intervenes every step of the way.
In ways I don't understand. In ways I can't see. But when I look behind me I understand.
WHY. and HOW.
and in those moments I do NOT understand....I TRUST.
Because I have seen evidence of His sovereignty at work in my life.
I have seen His hand on ME. on my children's lives.
He knows things you don't know.
He sees things you cannot see.
And He's got you hedged in. Protected. You are covered. Even when you cannot understand.....He's up to SOMEthing. TRUST that He's got you and will take you where HE knows you need to be.

I look behind me and you’re there,
then up ahead and you’re there, too—
your reassuring presence, coming and going. Psalm 139
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