February 10, 2015

The Great Unknown

"This is the LONELIEST place I've ever been." 
......that is what I was FEELING anyway as I spoke those words to my pastor's wife.  
Her reply was quick and certain ...... "It's not loneliness you're feeling.  It's TRANSITION."
......call it what you WANT.  I don't LIKE it.
I'm not comfortable here.  I can't find my footing in ANYthing secure.  I'd felt that all of those things which I'd found comfort in were ripped out of my hands.  I wanted something ELSE to cling to. Something safe.  Something familiar. 
It was as if I looked around me and all I could see was a sea of open water.  

YEARS ago...........years before my entire world was turned upside down........she could see this coming. (my pastor's wife) Isn't that so like our Heavenly Father though?  To prepare us for things to come.  She looked at me and said (paraphrased of course----filtered through much time, circumstance and introspection), "I see you playing on the beach, in the sand. Satisfied. Content.  And the Lord, who was out in the waters began calling you to Him.  As you got up to step toward Him you found yourself looking for rocks to stand on.  Something secure to put your feet on.  But He stepped back further into the waters.....calling you."  

See where this is headed?
I do too.  And I don't know if I like it.  

"Before long there was nothing left to stand on and it was just you and Him."

She went on to talk about the storm stirring all around me and yet I still found my footing secure.....I don't remember her mentioning anything about dying or the waves overtaking me. There was no panic mentioned.  NOR did she mention the circumstances which would take me to that place.
Just that the Lord was calling the shots and I was gonna trust Him and follow His lead.
At the time I had NO idea where life was about to take me.  I had NO idea how this would play out.  But true as every word she's ever spoken to me in the last 16 years.......it WOULD COME TO PASS.

 (a note on the side here-----how THANKFUL I am for those who have been place in leadership over me.  People who have spoken words of LIFE over.  People who have held on to me and have been the voice of GOD to me.....where would I BE without them?)  

NOW----standing here----- I am reminded of the words of a song so familiar some of you reading this have already thought of them yourself.......

"You call me out upon the waters.  The great unknown where FEET MAY FAIL."  

No thanks God.
You're.....calling ME.....just a little girl.....out into waters so deep I can't stand, where there is NOTHING FAMILIAR, and there's a very good chance I will sink beneath waves so great they are SURE to overtake me.  No.  THANK.  YOU.  

But that is EXACTLY where He has taken me.
The GREAT unknown.  ALONE.  Just Him and ME.  

Here is where we often lose perspective.
The waves.  The storm.  The deep waters.  The unknown.  Unforeseen circumstances that take us to places we never imagined we would end up.
Where all we have left is our FAITH.  We think about the things that brought us there.....consumed with the what ifs, whys and doubt.

Do I TRUST Him?
Am I willing to go where He is taking me? 

"It's not LONELINESS----it's TRANSITION."
I can see how it is........
Transition by definition is a PASSAGE, a PROCESS, a period of TIME, a season of transformation......transition is not a final resting place....

To refuse to surrender will keep me from what's on the other side.
A caterpillar transitions into a butterfly through a period of isolation and solitude. But during that process so much transpires.  So many details.  So much change.  
but wait for it...........soon a creature more beautiful than what had been before will emerge....taken to places it could never go before.

If we could just understand.....God's ways are so much higher than ours.  What we see as an inconvenience or an injustice....God is already taking that and somehow ----He makes it GOOD.  It is in these places that our faith is forged.  It is these places which shape us and draw us away with Him.  These places where all we HAVE is Him.  If we're trying to hold on to the familiar and the comfortable then we will never experience the EXTRAORDINARY depths of His GRACE and what it is He is wanting to bring us to.  It all comes down to one question:  "DO YOU TRUST HIM?"  

Transition is necessary. 
Change is necessary.
It's a rite of passage------
You can't transition into something new if you're not willing to endure change.  Instead of embracing all the familiar around you----embrace the FATHER.  He's taking you into things He's already figured out.  He knows how to get you there.  

If you're willing ----- you'll find the GREAT UNKNOWN is a pretty incredible place to be. 

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